All the equipment generates electricity from human exercise to light up the gymnasium. People passing can tell by the brightness that there is a good session going on. Members get to show off their output potential and reduce electricity usage and therefore greenhouse gas. Get fit and save the planet.

Rock Sitar Player With one “z”. Returned from India and willing to do what it takes to create that 60’s or 70’s vibe.

Meteorite Dog Biscuits
Proposed advert wherein a dog in the space helmet declares “they are meaty awright”. This idea was submitted to manufacturers some time ago with no success.

We’re All Pixies When We Are Asleep
A children’s story book based on a dream set in my own childhood. Illustrated in simplistic (naive) fashion by myself, it received numerous rejection notices from publishers. These were like a primitive version of what is now known in electronic media as “hits” even though they were more properly “misses”.

Beats Working
This was a Brisbane drum circle with belly dancing.

Names for bands, albums and songs and bars
These are copyrighted ideas. Please ask before using these ideas as they are protected.

Dead Man’s Garlick
Weight & Sea (anchor and wavy lines graphic)
DeVine (wine bar name)
Sympathetic Magic

Inventions and Concepts
These ideas are copyright protected, please contact me if you wish to use one of them.

Acoustic Clothing
Made of “Soundweave” (copyright) cloth which absorbs specific sound frequencies. There is a range from low pass to high pass cloths allowing wearers to express themselves at concerts by changing the sound around them. If you want more bass, for example, then cluster with the other like-minded fans wearing the same distinctive coloured low-pass jackets. If you prefer a more trebley sound then gather with those people whose garments absorb the lower end of the audible range. You can recognise them by the colour of their jackets.
So now you can make a statement and achieve impact, even in a crowded concert hall.

The Swing Watch
at 5 pm it changes from tick tock to tah1 tah2 tah3 tah4…

Fantasy Dog Walks
A shop near a park rents out celebrity and fantasy costumes to dog owners so they can parade around while they exercise their dog. It makes it like a party and good for meeting people.

Marimba Furniture
Wooden furniture you can play music on. I made a proto-type table and learnt some critical design lessons. Clear the dinner and jam (and jam)

TV for chimpanzees
Seriously set up a channel for monkeys and see what keeps their attention. Do all the programming based on what the monkeys will watch, but sell it to humans cause it will be funny (or violent).

WWII mystery calendar
I have a large collection of World War 2 photographs, but I don’t know the names, places dates. Set up a panel of experts (RSL), publish a calendar and run a competition with prizes for purchasers to name the people, ships, places etc. with 50% of profits going to support returned soldiers and their families.

I have been noticing a lot of people lately strengthening friendships and feeling good by blaming others for their own shortcomings. I blame these people for obscuring the truth and messing with our minds. If you feel the same way, contact me and we will go and have a drink together. It would feel good.

I think there are two types of people in the world. Those that categorise other people, and those that don’t. It seems unfair though and a bit ironic that I have categorised the people that don’t categorise other people. They deserve better and I apologise (categorically).

Adventure in Arnhem Land 2005

Two weeks from Nhulunbuy (Gove) to Sth. Goulburn Island sighting crocodiles, sharks, turtles and eagles, blah blah blah. It seems like it was only 3 years ago. Blah blah blah.
Read it! blah blah blah



I got my zen from Alan Watts in the 70’s.
How do I know if it is still working?

I am thinking of selling my soul to the Devil.
It’s a really big step and I don’t want to get ripped off.

When they let me go, at least they gave me a glowing reference – “He was not just unnecessary, mate, he was absolutely superfluous”

It was all so average. Really average. Let’s say you got a large number of average things, and averaged them. That’s how average it was.

What is the optimum size for a minority group?

The ad said “Be your own Boss!” – but I hate my boss.

I have a plan to save the world. It will require a substantial budget. The stationery costs alone will be astronomical.